He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
