Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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