Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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