wake up i wanna do it froggy style
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
