I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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