i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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