Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize