dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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