He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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