He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
