seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
