Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
