I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
