He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
