I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize