let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
