so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
