hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
