she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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