genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize