Christians are straight up FREAKS
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
my poor anus
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
