Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
