And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
