I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
