Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
