so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I think people are normalizing furries
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
