I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
