youre lurking in front of me
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
