..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
