I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize