So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
