Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
