living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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