So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
