Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
