No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
