Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
