My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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