You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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