I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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