if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize