i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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