You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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