$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
