fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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