Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
