I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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