Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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