oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
