I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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