At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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