I wish I could teleport
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
