I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
