im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
