...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
