he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
