is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
