Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
