could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
