Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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