YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
