Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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