I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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